Marriage…and Maturity

“Marriage if for adults only,”¹ wrote one eminent author⎯not necessarily maturity of years, but maturity of attitude⎯the maturity to know that there aren’t any perfect people, that nothing is ever always as anticipated. Marriage requires the maturity to adjust, to forgive, to understand, to be forgiven Aside from love, attraction, status, convenience, marriage requires faith, character, companionship, and much in common. As to faith: “Every venture requires faith.”² In marriage as in all else, we need “faith in ourselves; faith in others, [but a faith based] upon reasonable grounds.”² As to character: marriage requires the character to be moderate, respectful, clean, honest⎯the character to carry responsibility, to keep commitments, to provide, to honor obligations, to find or make a future. As to companionship marriage requires common interests, compatible attitudes, and agreement as to standards and basic beliefs. “Will we always love each other just as we do today?”² is a question often asked. “For love to continue it must develop,”² to grow it must change. Of course there is a change. Who could be so immature as to suppose there would not be change? As you have changed from childhood and through the years of youth, there will be yet further change through the older years of life. “Physical attraction . . . is one element of love . . . but is sure to [change].”² And maturity in marriage requires that you love each other not only as you are, but as you will and should and can become. Now as to human failings, and faults: “We all have them . . . and it is only through [love] that we learn to understand.”³ Marriage requires faith, love, character, companionship, and much in common; and the maturity to know that there aren’t any perfect people. But there are some who are very wonderful and worthwhile, who can, through all the changes, all the trial and error and even hardship and heartache, bring to marriage the kind of character and understanding that can make of it the most enduring and deeply satisfying relationship of life.