The Deadlocks of Life
October 6, 1957
We recall these words of William James: “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” This in a sense is simply a restatement of the principle of repentance.
There are times when most of us have need to alter our attitudes. There are times when the stubborn set of a mind or the stubborn set of a heart will drive people apart when they should come closer. Without some honest change of attitude there would be little possibility of improving any unsatisfactory situation. This is true in all the relationships of life.
In marriage, for example, people often expect too much of marriage and too little of themselves, and let misunderstandings settle into stubborn situations, because neither will change the set of his heart, the set of his thoughts—because neither will alter his attitude. There is no magic merely in marriage. The magic comes with the character and consideration that are needed to keep love and respect alive—in a solid partnership directed toward a blessed purpose.
There may be grievances. No one is perfect. And in most marriages there must be some honest altering of attitudes, some giving by someone in some degree, if differences are ever to be settled, if resentments are ever to be resolved. A hurt or disappointed person may sincerely feel that it is not his place to make the first move—that it is not his place to go halfway—or any part of the way. A hurt or disappointed person may sincerely feel that the fault lies wholly outside himself. But someone, sometime, has to move. Someone, sometime, has to break the heartbreaking deadlocks of opposing personalities.
Time helps and heals. But time can’t do it all—and often there isn’t time to wait for time to take over. Someone has to do something if what shouldn’t be is ever to be as it should be. Someone, somehow, must make some move in removing misunderstandings.
To repeat the words of William James: “…human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes…” Let false pride be pushed aside; let people who should not drift apart move toward one another; let the principle of repentance enter in; let those who have made mistakes (and even those who think they haven’t) make their peace, and improve upon the past by honestly altering attitudes.