I Won't Count This Time…

Rip Van Winkle, in Jefferson’s Play, excuses himself for every fresh dereliction by saying, ‘I won’t count this time!’ Well, he may not count it; and a kind heaven may not count it, but it is being counted nonetheless. Down among his nerve cells and fibres, the molecules are counting it, registering and scoring it up to be used against him when the next temptation comes. “Nothing we ever do is in strict scientific literalness wiped out.” These are the words of the celebrated psychologist and philosopher, William James. And he adds: “Could the young but realize how soon they will become… walking bundles of habits, they would give more heed to their conduct… We are spinning our own fates, good or evil… Every smallest stroke of virtue or of vice leaves its never so little scar… We are… imitators and copiers of our past selves.” But our habits, good or bad, weren’t always habits. What we now do habitually we once did first—and then again—and then again. And since we become “slaves to our own past performance,” we had better be particular about the first performance, because almost anything done once could become a habit, and obviously the reason we have bad habits is because we did the first time what shouldn’t have been done at all. This may seem to offer little comfort to those who already have habits they want to be rid of. Fortunately, however, bad habits aren’t hopeless. But it takes more effort to get out of a rut than it does to get in one—and sometimes the only way to get out is to get out all at once. Sometimes the best way to leave bad habits behind is simply to leave them behind—without lingering or looking back. The break has to come sometime. Sometime has to be the last time. And it isn’t likely to be any easier later, because habits, like ruts, dig more deeply with time, even though at first we may think of them as trifles—as something we can start or stop or take or leave whenever we want to. Plato had something to say on this subject. He once rebuked a person for engaging in a gambling game. And when the person protested that he had only played for a “trifle,” Plato replied: “The habit is not a trifle.” No potentially potent thing is a “trifle.” And the best time to break a bad habit is before the first time. The next best time is NOW—before the next time.