Parents, Children, and Authority

March 17, 1946

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Perhaps we had just as well admit to begin with that our authority is sometimes exercised unpredictablysometimes because of prejudice, sometimes because of impatience, sometimes because of whim and convenience. According to our feelings at the moment, we may be leniently disposed at one time and adamantly disposed at another, in dealing with questions of seemingly identical merit. Sometimes we are led by temper to threaten consequences more severe than we intend to invoke and which we could not in justice deliver. Whenever, as parents, it becomes necessary to maintain the authority of our position, it would be well not to threaten punishment without being sure it is deserved, or without delivering it when it is deserved. Children are discerning. They may call our bluff if we threaten more than is just or more than we can make effectiveall of which tends to break down respect for authority. And not only is it so between parents and children, but it is also true between men and society. Respect for authority is demoralized by laws that are not or cannot be enforced, or that are unjustly or temperamentally administered, or that are subject to favoritism. Man’s respect for the laws of nature is based on their irrevocabilityon the certainty and the justice of consequences. When we violate a natural law, we know what to expector if we don’t know, we inevitably find out. And so it must be with all law and with all discipline. To be respected, authority, whether of parents or others, must be exercised in justice and on principleon cause and effectnot on whim or convenience.

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