As We Want to Be Remembered

April 27, 1952

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As we remember our impressions of other people, we may well ask how we would want to be remembered. If we were posing for a portrait, we would likely take great pains to be at our best; and after all our own preparations we would expect the photographer or the artist to retouch where he found obvious flaws, because with anything as permanent as a portrait it seems important to appear as we would want to be remembered. But the impressions that other people have of us from day to day are more important than a portrait, and in all of our acts and attitudes and utterances we should keep in mind how we want to be perpetuated in the minds and memories of other men. Do we want to be remembered for giving way to gossip? Do we want to be remembered for being careless about our appearance or careless about our conduct? And how do we want to be remembered by our children? As they grow up, they will carry through life their impressions of us. The public may see us only as we step out on the street, only as we sit behind our desks, or as we attend social functions, groomed and gracious; but with our family and friends, within the walls where we live, there is a kind of candid camera constantly recording its impressions of us, in faithful detail and without retouching. Those of our own intimate circle won’t always remember us just as we are when we are ready to go to church. They may remember us as we are when we lose our temper, or when we are unjust in our judgments, or when we have make some threadbare excuse for not doing our duty, or some flimsy pretext for departing from principle. They may remember not only our fine and affectionate best behavior, but also inconsiderate acts and unkind, caustic comments. Posterity, and the public, may be impressed by the retouched portrait. But the way we know ourselves and the way we shall be remembered by those who matter most (and no doubt the way we shall ultimately be judged by a just Judge), will be the way we live from day to day. Whatever we do, whatever we are, whatever we think, whatever our actions and attitudes add up to will all be part of the picture; and the way we want to be remembered is the way we shall have to live, not only in public but also in private, and inside ourselves.

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