What We Say of Each Other

August 22, 1971

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Pascal said many things worth citing, among them this⎯which we hope is not as true as some of the other things he said: “…I hold it to be a fact,” he said, ” that if all persons knew what each said of the other, there would not be four friends in the world.”1 If this is so, it is sad. If it is so, we should see that it is not so. Oh, the comfort of having someone you can count on; someone with whom you know your reputation is safe; someone with unquestioned sincerity, who will be your friend behind your back as well as your friend to your face. Sometimes we go along in life pleasantly with people⎯and then find ourselves misquoted, misrepresented, undermined in one of the cruelest courts that was ever convened, a court in which there is no judge or jury, no rules of evidence, maybe not even any evidence, no one sworn to tell the truth⎯a courtroom where the accused is never present to defend himself⎯or even to hear what is said; a court in which someone simply says that someone says that something is so. Even our enemies couldn’t convene a worse court⎯but history is full of the tragedies of such trials. Well, this perhaps is merely an appeal for anyone, or for all of us, as may be necessary, to repent, to be honest with ourselves, and honest with others, not to judge where we do not know, not to undermine or downgrade others on irresponsible evidence. The world has enough sorrows and problems without adding any others. But in the course of a lifetime, blessedly we find, perhaps many, perhaps few, with whom we feel as safe and sure when they aren’t with us, as when they are; of whom we feel that they will speak as fairly and kindly in our absence as they would if we were there. Thank heaven for such friends. “…I hold it to be fact, that if all persons knew what each said of the other, there would not be four friends in the world.” If this is true, heaven help us to repent, and make it not be so.


1Blaise Pascal (1623-62) Fr. Math and philos.

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