What Is Love Without Truth?

December 2, 1962

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Marriage is such a basic, sacred and vital relationship in life that it must be fixed on solid foundations and cannot safely be subjected to pretense, to double standards, divided loyalties, and deceit. Back in the seventeenth century John Tillotson said, “It is hard to . . . act a part long; for where truth is not at the bottom nature will always be endeavoring to return, and will peep out and betray herself one time or another.”

“Hypocrisy is folly,” wrote Richard Cecil. “It is much easier, safer, and pleasanter to be the thing which a man appears, than to keep up the appearance of what he is not.” “God has given you one face,” Shakespeare said, “and you make yourself another.” From these generalizations let us consider one exceedingly important phase of the subject of sincerity, with this challenging question: “What is love without truth?” This suggests the importance of frankness and fairness in sharing interests and activities; fairness and frankness in reporting things done and seen, in reporting as to places and people; frankness and fairness in family finances and in facing facts. It also suggests the questions of deception, of infidelity, of alleging love, of leading a double life. Love is entitled to loyalty. Marriage cannot be truly happy, or safe, or solid, if there is a mere appearance of confidence and compatibility, of faith and faithfulness. For family solidarity and the sanctity of the home, there cannot safely be deception. To recall again the question, “what is love without truth?”indeed, what is anything without truth?

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