Speech--It Hurts or Heals

In every successful relationship in life, three things are of particular importance: what we say, how we say it, and what we leave unsaid. And along with what we sometimes wish we had said there is also often what we wish we hadn’t said. Most of us have reason to repent of having said what we shouldn’t say−what, indeed, we perhaps never intended to say.

Many whose thoughts are significant have expressed themselves on the subject of silence and of too much talk:

“It is a great misfortune,” Erasmus remarked, “not to have sense enough to speak well, and judgment enough to speak little.”

“If any man think it a small matter to bridle his tongue,” said Plutarch, “he is much mistaken . . .”

“Think all you speak,” said Patrick Delany, “but speak not all you think. Thoughts are your own; your words are so no more.”

George Eliot once said: “Half the sorrows of women would be averted if they could repress the speech they know to be useless−nay, the speech they have resolved not to utter.” The same might well be said with equal truth of men.

Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences. Speech is a form of action. It may hurt or heal. It is true or false, kind or cruel. It has its impact on others. And, said Samuel Johnson, “A man has no more right to say a rude thing to another than to act one; no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down.”

We can all think of things we could cuttingly say−things that could put people in their place. But we can also think of things we have said that we have deeply regretted and would give much to take back. There are times when it is best to talk and times when it is blessed to be silent. We all have a responsibility to communicate, to get through, and to understand. And we are responsible for what we say, as well as for our silence.