Think Not, the Husband Gained, That All Is Done

There is ever and always this matter of marriage⎯a subject that suggests quoting an old couplet: “…think not, the husband gained, that all is done: Think not the wife gained, that all is done; the prize of happiness must still be won. Happiness in marriage, happiness at home, must always be won⎯over and over again, with kindness and consideration, with honor and honesty, in this most sensitive relationship of life, a relationship that affects not only two people, by children, family, friends, the community and the whole structure of society, and one that never should be entered into lightly. And always to be remembered is that marriage is a relationship of two imperfect people. Any of us, perhaps, could get along with perfect people, but where on earth would we find them! “Two persons who have chosen each other out of all the (rest),” said Joseph Addison, “with the design to be each other’s mutual comfort…have, in the action, bound themselves to be good-humored, affable, discreet, forgiving, patient…with respect to each others frailties and (im)perfections, to the end of their lives.”² “A great proportion of the wretchedness which has embittered married life, has originated in a negligence of trifles…It is a sensitive plant, which will not bear even the touch of unkindness; a delicate flower, which indifference will chill and suspicion blast. It must be watered by the showers of tender affection,…of kindness, and guarded by the …barrier of unshaken confidence. Thus matured, it will bloom… in every season of life, and sweeten even the loneliness of declining years.”³ God bless you who are married to make a respectful and enduring and satisfying association⎯and bless you who are not, to approach marriage thoughtfully, prayerfully, with clean morals, good manners, and the qualities of kindness and consideration that will make a respectful, satisfying companionship. “Think not the husband gained, (the wife gained,) that all is done. The prize of happiness must still be won.”