As Our Children Exceed Us

November 13, 1955

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A man in his youth may receive sound teaching and training from parents, and be schooled in basic qualities of character. But as he grows older and takes his own independent place, he may foolishly and unfortunately break away from his early teaching and training. These departures from principle certainty hurt him somewhat, but so sure and solid has been his teaching and training that even though he says some things he shouldn’t say, and does some things he shouldn’t do, he may never quite let loose. But his children, his daughter, his son, who haven’t been so well taught, may follow their father’s example, but without the same restraint. In short, the son frequently follows the father, but goes farther. As a matter of safety and just plain common sense, we should always take into account the fact that our children are not only likely to follow us, but are also likely to farther than we go—in any direction. They are likely to grow taller than we grow, and to exceed us in other ways also. If we are unkind, they may be unkinder. If we express faint disloyalty, they may become more critical and careless. A mother, a father, can lead his family far the wrong road with just a little wrong lead. A father may repent perhaps, and pull himself back. But he may find that he has lost his family—that they have gone too far to be pulled back. True, it doesn’t always work this way, but it is never safe to assume that it won’t work this way. The only safe and sound way to teach children to be what we should be, to act as we should act, to speak as we should speak, genuinely and honestly, because they will likely exceed us in any indicated direction. At least, this is the risk we take. If a son is going to follow his father, his father had better be travelling on the right road.

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