Manners From Models…

In commenting on the character, the courtesy of young people, of all people – or the lack of it – Frederick Stamm asked: “Are the young to blame for their discourteous actions …? There are ways of training the youth to be … pleasing, and useful citizens. It can be done by parents being courteous

themselves, not from a mere desire to observe conventions, but from a spirit of genuine sympathy,

thoughtfulness, and profound respect for the other members of the family… The boy will learn

courteous when he sees his father treat the boy’s mother like a queen, and the wise and well–balanced

girl is she whose mother maintains grace and dignity in relationships with her husband and sons.”

Manners, kindness, courtesy – these don’t just happen. They come from several sources. “Where the

spirit of love and duty pervades the home – … where the daily life is honest and virtuous – … kind, and

loving, then may we expect … healthy, useful, and happy beings, … Models are, therefore, of every

importance in moulding the nature of the child; … In the face of bad example, the best of precepts are of but little avail… Indeed, precept [which is] at variance with practice is worse that useless … [for]

children are judges of consistency, and the lessons of the parent who says one thing and does the

opposite are quickly seen through … The tiniest bits of opinion sown in the minds of children, in private

life afterwards issue forth to the world, and becomes its public opinion; for nations are fathered out of nurseries… The manners of society at large are but the reflex of the manners of our collective homes,

…” said Samuel Smiles. “Indeed, we can always better understand and appreciate a man’s real character

… [not so much] by his public exhibition of himself but by the manner in which he conducts himself

towards those who are the most nearly related to him, and by his conduct in the commonplace details

of daily duty.”