When to Say It--and When to Be Silent

January 1, 1970

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As was said many centuries ago: There is “a time to every purpose..” And there are times when

some things should be said, and times to keep silent. There are times when we are tempted to make

cutting comments, when kindness (and good sense) would suggest that we keep silent. Sometimes on

the football field we see the practice of “piling on” – piling on and pushing the bottom player a little

farther down into the dirt. IN life there is also the practice of “piling on” and pushing people down a

little deeper. Sometimes we see it with children. If one of them has made a misstatement or mistake, all

of them sometimes seem to want to outdo one another in embarrassing the unfortunate offender. But

even as adults, too many of us, too often, are cutting in our comments and too sharp with our tongues.

Too many of us correct others cruelly, with the wrong spirit, at the wrong time. Even in families,

correction is often ill-timed; and the intended lesson may be lost by the resentment that comes with

being embarrassed while others are watching. There are times to speak; there are times to say what

should be said. There are truths that must be spoken, falsehoods that must be challenged, and facts that

must be made known. But the ill-timed lashing of an uncontrolled temper or a loose and irresponsible

tongue can do irreparable damage. No friendship, no household, no marriage, no society is strong

enough to remain unmarred by sarcasm and cruel comment. Whether uttered inadvertently or

otherwise, we are responsible for the weight of our words, and we should weigh them well before we

let them loose, with the good sense sometimes to be silent, and not let temper or bad timing nullify the

lessons that might have been learned. And on those occasions which call for sharp correction, we should

show “forth afterwards an increase of love” – for love can make correction lasting, but hate only

hardens the human heart. May God give us the good sense to know what to say, and when to say it, and

when to be silent; and give us also the quality of kindness so that what is said, will correct and not

merely cruelly cut.

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