Taking Time to Listen…

Besides seeking counsel, which for all of us is so essential, there is another side of the subject: listening so that we can give counsel sincerely and sensibly. “Lately I have thought a lot about ‘listening’,” said Hannie Struve. “How often you hear a little child complain… ‘you’re not listening!’ And how easily the mother replies, ‘What do you want?’ And mostly the child does not really ‘want’ anything, only to communicate.” Taking time to listen⎯to children⎯young people⎯others! Sometimes they are reluctant to ask because they receive impatient answers. “Why do we parents so often say, ‘I’m busy now’…” asked one thoughtful observer. “Why do we… not realize that a child is like a sunbeam⎯here for a moment and then gone somewhere else.” Talking⎯listening⎯patience, willingness to learn enough before jumping to quick conclusions. Sometimes in just letting them talk and using us for listening, they will come safely to their own conclusions. But when two people both talk at once, when they interrupt each other or when they don’t talk at all, there aren’t likely to be any helpful answers. Yes, it takes time to listen, but it takes more time to correct mistakes once they have been made. “Dear Lord, make me a better parent,” pleaded Gary Cleveland Myers. “Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say and to answer all their questions kindly. Keep me from interrupting them, talking back to them, and contradicting them. Make me as courteous to them as I would have them to be to me.” With too many misjudging others, and with too few taking time to listen, counsel cannot seem as satisfactory as it should. “The key is communication,” said a thoughtful source. “‘Can’t you see I’m busy?’… ought to be banned [by parents]. ‘Listen’ ought to be [implanted] over every parent’s heart.” If only we could feel we have been heard: If only we would listen when we should!