The Lengthened Shadow

A man may sometimes get a little out of line, but because he was well taught, because he know the difference between right and wrong, he may feel that he can safely get back when he wants to. And maybe he can. Maybe from his youth, from parents, from teachers, there was something basically built into him, that saves him from going too far. Maybe his character and training, his basic beliefs, are so solidly set that he can take a little latitude with some degrees of safety. Maybe he can and maybe he can’t. But suppose we assume that it is possible for a well-seasoned person to take a little latitude, to get a little off course, and still get back when he wants to. But still what his influence on others? What about his influence on his own family and friends? Emerson said that “an institution is he lengthened shadow of one man.”¹ A family is the lengthened shadow of parents and forebears; a son, in a sense, is the lengthened shadow of a father – with emphasis on the word lengthened, because the next generation tends to exceed the example it has been set. If parent is a little critical, a child is likely to be more critical. If a parent shows a little disrespect, a child may show deeper disrespect. The well-seasoned adult may know that he doesn’t altogether mean what he says, or didn’t intend something to be as bad as it sounds, but a child may take what he hears and sees literally, and go further that the example that was set. True, it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes there are other influences; sometimes reaction moves us in an opposite direction. But generally, if one generation leans a little out of line, the next generation may lean a long way out of line. And unfortunately the price people pay for being a little out of line may mean that their children pay a higher price. And when a person feels that he himself is responsible for the defection of his children, then he has really paid a high price. All of us as parents, all of us as people, should remember the shadow of example, as it lengthens out in the lives of our families and friends. (It is sobering that others, in some measure, are the lengthened shadow of what we show them).