It Is Not Marriage That Fails…

Since marriage is the most complete commitment of all of life’s relationships, it calls, both before and after, for a constant searching of ourselves, and devotion, duty, and discipline. And we would plead with young people not to rush impulsively or immaturely into this, the most complete commitment of the whole length of life, without most serious and earnest consideration. And to those who are married, we would plead with them not to rush out of it. Marriage requires much more than physical attraction to assure its success. It requires trust, a sense of humor, patience, an understanding of imperfections. Marriage includes the day to day doing of things and learning to live with those to whom we are committed in this most sacred covenant. “It is not marriage that fails,” said Dr. Fosdick, “it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up.” “Love is not getting, but giving,” said Henry Van Dyke, “not a wild dream of pleasure, and madness of desire⎯…it is goodness, and honor, and peace and pure living.” To this James Russell Lowell added: “[Love] is a thing to walk with, hand in hand, Through the everydayness of this workday world.” And to have the best chance for survival, marriage would be best entered into by people whose background and principles and purposes would be so compatible as never to pull them apart. All of us have much to forgive, much to understand, with an awareness that all of us are human and that success in marriage comes through patience and understanding, kindliness and consideration, common sense and character and an honest willingness to make it work. Marriage is so momentous a matter that it should be surrounded with the most sacred, thoughtful, prayerful considerations; not hasty impulse, not temporary attachment, but giving the best of all we have within us to make it all it can become. It is unthinkable that a marriage should ever be entered into lightly or ever severed in the same way.