Quarreling--and Happiness at Home

The best of living comes with harmony and happiness at home. And this depends, after all, upon character and courtesy _ and just plain common sense. And why, oh why would people who live in this closest of all relationships of life let quarreling and misunderstanding wreck the peace and happiness of home?

There is “one kind of quarrel that clears the air, like a good, sharp thunderstorm,…” wrote Dorothy Walworth. “The other kind of quarrel…leaves ugly scars and bitterness, which eventually can wreck a marriage…When Caesar crossed the Rubicon, he could not turn back and have everything the way it was before…If, in quarreling, you call names…and show a diabolical ability to use just the words that will hurt most _ if ruthlessly you rake up all the failings of the past and recklessly destroy even your happiest memories…you cannot retrace your steps and have your marriage exactly as it was before…No wife or husband should take too seriously what the other says at the end of an exhausting day…(when) weary or tense (or unwell)…Be gentle. In these days, we all have something better to do with our energy than spend it battling with those we love…Don’t try to win and argument just for the sake of winning. Your husband or wife is not your rival, not somebody over whom you must have a petty triumph…A quarrel should always be settled. It should not end…with two people sulking for days…Somebody should say, ‘I’m sorry.’ Don’t be too proud to say you’re sorry…Pride is too expensive…Don’t insist on always being in the right…And a last word of warning. Keep your quarrels private. Public outbreaks are in the worst possible taste. There is only one remedy for them _ shut up!” ¹

It comes down finally to a question of character and courtesy and common sense. Don’t be afraid to say you’re sorry. And when someone says it sincerely, accept it. Don’t let pride or stubbornness or stupidity wreck the peace and happiness of a home.