Gentleness With Firmness…

“” young man before he leaves the shelter of his father’s house,” said John Locke, “should be fortified with resolution, . . . to secure his virtues, lest he should be led into some ruinous course, or fatal precipice, before he is sufficiently acquainted with the dangers . . .”

Benjamin Franklin said, “Let thy child’s first lesson be obedience, . . .”

The idea that discipline and training should center outside the home is an altogether untenable idea. Contrary to what is sometimes supposed, studies on the subject suggest that youth would like to look to parents for the leadership, the guidance, without which they feel too foot-loose and unsure of themselves.

Reasonably, there comes the question: What are parents for? Not simply for food and shelter and physical necessities, although this is a great service in itself. But parents are also counselors, builders of character, teachers of truth, and must not abdicate their particular position as parents. They are those to whom God has given children, with the prime responsibility as the molders and shapers of manners and morals.

“With children,” said Charles Haddon Spurgeon, “we must mix gentleness with firmness.- They must not always have their own way, but they must not always be thwarted.- If we never have headaches through rebuking them, [when they are young] we shall have plenty of heartaches when they grow up.”

“An infallible way to make your child miserable,” said Henry Home, “is to satisfy all his demands.- Passion swells by gratification; and the impossibility of satisfying every one of his wishes will oblige you to stop short at last after he has become headstrong.”

“Good Christian people,” wrote Thomas Carlyle, “here [in your children] lies for you an inestimable loan;- take all heed thereof, in all carefulness employ it. With high recompense, or else with heavy penalty, will it one day be required back.”

The duty upon parents is much more than merely to provide. It is also to teach and train, to counsel, and, as necessary, correct- to live the part of parents, with gentleness and firmness so intermixed as never to avoid wise discipline or the doing of duty; to show forth leadership, and remember never to leave out love.