We Spend Ourselves

Any passing season is somewhat sobering, for in spending time we spend ourselves. It may be difficult at any particular point to see the direction in which we are moving. And often in uncertainty there is fear of the future. Yet, as Oliver Wendell Holmes has said, “There must be a drift which will, if one will go prepared and have patience, bring one out to daylight . . . One is safe in trusting to courage and to time . . .”¹

As to time: We can’t save it; we can’t call it back; we can’t re-use it, ever. It is precious and important⎯for in spending time we spend ourselves.

Many years ago, in a letter to a friend, Tolstoi wrote: “I . . . felt very sorry when I learned of your useless, senseless mode of life, as you put it . . . A life with which he that leads it is not satisfied, is worst of all . . . We must not waste our life at random, and wherever we are, under all circumstances, we can do that for which life was given unto us,⎯that is, to perfect ourselves, draw nearer to God . . . It is not only possible to perfect ourselves and draw nearer to God at all times and everywhere, but it is not even difficult to do . . . If you will but abstain from doing that which you consider wrong, then you will surely do good, because a healthy man cannot remain idle . . . Restrain yourself, do not quarrel, do not try to make a display of yourself . . . If man will but refuse to give himself to temptations and to deceits which force him to waste his life for nothing, love will appear and will perform in him the work of God.”²

This from Tolstoi simply suggests an honest appraisal, without undue drama or discouragement, and without feeling sorry for ourselves, but with a quiet resolve to live better, to be better, with thoughtfulness, repenting, improving, forgiving, understanding. It will mean forgetting some things and remembering others, drawing nearer to each other and to truth; nearer to our Father in heaven, nearer to the quietness of conscience that comes with keeping His commandments, trusting to patience and understanding, “to courage and to time,” with a steady consistency of purpose as we repent and improve.

God be thanked for the principle of repentance, and for faith in the future.