The Question of Marriage

Those who are young look expectantly to the unfolding of the years, to cherished companionship, to the making of homes, to the rearing of families. They have a right to their dreams. They have a right to see their dreams come true. But one of the most critical questions in life, one forever affecting happiness, is the question of marriage. It is the expected pattern for each maturing generation to select the partners of a lifetime from among those they have come to know by continuing association, by growing friendship, through family acquaintance, through school or work or some other accepted social channel. And long experience has proved the wisdom of knowing well and appraising carefully the qualities of those who seem likely to become more than friends. In making a marriage there is perhaps no single factor which one can positively say will ensure its success or forecast its failure. But there are conceded to be some standards, some accumulated generations of experience, which those who would commit the whole of their lives to each other would do well to consider. For example, some marriages which seem desirable in far places may not seem to have the same appearance nearer home. Some hasty marriages prove to be much too hasty. Some decisions influenced by mere loneliness may lead to situations less tolerable than loneliness. And decisions influenced by moonlight and music must also survive in the searching scrutiny of broad daylight, with all its undeniable realities. Then, or course, there are those who suppose that marriages can be lightly made and lightly unmade without serious consequences. But lives are permanently altered by marriage, no matter how long they last or how soon they are dissolved. And whatever exceptions may be cited to the contrary, in marriage wisdom suggests common ideals, common beliefs, and a common ground for the meeting of many issues; and, lacking these, personal attraction alone may not always be enough. Marriage is much more than a legal contract. It is a sacred covenant, for through marriage, children and their physical and spiritual heritage are at issue; by this choice, lives are made and broken; ideals are kept or forsaken; homes are secured or violated; happiness is won or lost. Surely no marriage at its making should hold less than the reasonable prospect of continuing forever—and surely the record of broken marriages would suggest thoughtful and prayerful approach to this question, at home or away.