Discipline

Delivering a well-earned spanking to a child with the assurance, “This hurts me worse than it does you,” is a bit of hackneyed humor that has been much overworked. But aside from its well-worn wit, it suggests a thoughtful theme: Frequently when a conscientious and loving parent finds it necessary to punish a child, there is much of remorse and of anguish on the part of the parent. It is not easy to discipline those we love. Indeed, for most of us it is not easy to discipline anyone. On the other hand, there are some who are too easily able to convince themselves that it is their duty to be harsh, and who enjoy too much of their duty. Something goes wrong, and without knowing causes and without fixing responsibility, there frequently follows the hasty impulse to assume that punishment is due someone and to administer it quickly and thoroughly and to investigate afterward. And thus an allegedly just punishment may prove in fact to have been but an outburst of impatience, irritability, or bad temper of him who does the punishing. Surely, hasty bad temper in adults has no virtue than it has in children. At the other extreme, there are those who are not quick enough to discipline, who are too indulgent or are too indifferent; those who, in a very real sense, “spare the rod and spoil the child.” The problem of discipline is a weighty and constant and difficult problem, involving decisions that tax our wisdom—decisions as to when to use reason, when persuasion; when to use force and physical measures; when to plead, when to threaten, when to act; when to be lenient and when to be severe. But when it is unfortunately and unavoidable necessary to administer corrective discipline to others, including our own children, it should be done in justice, with a knowledge of the facts, and not with arbitrary inconsistency or unreasoning anger, so that hearts may not be embittered and lives may not be blighted. Wherever possible we should move men “by persuasion, by longsuffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;…Reproving betimes with sharpness,…and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou has reproved, lest he esteem thee his enemy.” Let our discipline be just and sure and consistent, neither condoning a misdeed nor meting out severe measure for small offense. And let our love be not blind or falsely indulgent, and let mercy and forgiveness be not too tardy.