On Getting Away From Ourselves

For those who are old in years, the past seems to become sharper in memory, and many things which we thought had been obliterated have proved but to be stored away, only waiting to be recalled. For those who are aged it is often easier to recall something that happened long ago than it is to recall something that happened only yesterday. Also, in the utterance of a fevered illness, or in the wandering words of anesthesia, we often recall long-hidden impressions or speak of obscure experiences which memory has hoarded. We never know when something will touch off a train of associated ideas that will bring from out of the past some thought that has long lain dormant and seemingly forgotten. These are but further evidences, if we needed them, of the inerasable record of our lives. It is common for us to spend many years storing away useful information against the day when we can put it to some practical purpose; and when we have done so, we expect to be able to recall it at will. Sometimes it requires a little brushing up, a little freshening of memory, but once having learned something, the impressions are there, even though seemingly forgotten. And the same process which records what we would like to remember also records what we would perhaps rather forgetsorrow, disappointment, mistakes, regret. Perhaps this accounts in part for some of the restlessness of those who always seem to be possessed by an aimless urge to be going, and who never seem to find the contentment of arriving. Perhaps some of us are trying to outrun our own thoughtstrying to get away from ourselves, and that, fortunately or unfortunately, we can never do. The persistence of self is an undeniable and immortal fact, which no man ever escapes. We are our own eternal record. It is not necessary for any man to keep score against us. We engrave the facts upon ourselves, ineradicably. And he who thinks he has cause to run from his memories would do better to spend his time reshaping his thoughts and filling his life with such things as he will not hesitate to rememberfor peace and quiet thoughts do not come by running away. The only way a man can “get away” from himself is to effect some changes within himself. To be going in the right direction gives a great measure of peace and contentment, no matter how far off the course we may once have been.