On Being Too Long Alone
March 12, 1950
We have heard on high authority that “it is not good that the men should be alone.” But people at almost any age may sometimes feel that they want to be on their own⎯and not accountable to anyone. Children often say impatiently to their parents: “Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself!” And adults often say it emphatically to their families and friends. But no one is ever entirely able to take care of himself under all circumstances, and it isn’t good for anyone, young or old, not to be responsible to someone. It isn’t good for anyone to be too long alone. Of course, there are occasions when we want to be alone for a limited time: when we want to think, when we want tot work; when we are weary and want to relax without an awareness of anyone else around. There are times when we want to be left alone to ponder our problems. Almost all men enjoy some solitude. But it isn’t good for anyone ever to be wholly unaccountable to anyone else. And it doesn’t matter how old or how able a person is, someone should always know where he is going and when he is expected back. It doesn’t matter how self-sufficient a person supposes himself to be, he should feel responsible to someone for his actions and activities. In the first place, there is the question of safety. People who say that they are able to take care of themselves can’t always know whether they are or not. If everything goes as expected, they may be. But the unexpected often happens. Anyone can become ill. Anyone can meet misfortune. We are never old enough to be sure that we are safe under any and all circumstances. But, besides the matter of safety, a man simply doesn’t do his best if he doesn’t have the interest of others. People need to know that other people are depending upon them, waiting for them, pulling with them. People need people who believe in them, trust them, and expect much of them. All of us do better when we know that there are others who expect us to do better. It isn’t wholesome for anyone to be running around without any ties or attachments. We all need to be somewhat responsible to someone else all the time, both to keep us at our best and in the interest of our own safety.