The Desire to Be Appreciated

“The deepest hunger in human beings,” said William James, “is the desire to be appreciated.”¹ A wife, a mother, can put up with faults and imperfections ⎯ with inadequate income, disappointments, difficult conditions, if there is kindness, consideration, appreciation. A father can work and worry, meet problems, debts, discouragement, and face the world, if there is kindness, consideration, appreciation. A teacher can try harder to teach and labor patiently and long, if there is willingness to learn ⎯ and appreciation. A worker can work longer and do better if there is encouragement and appreciation. We can be driven by others only so far, but we can drive ourselves much farther, if we feel there is fairness and appreciation. This is true in marriage, in the home, between parents and children, in business, and in all relationships of life. Hearts are broken, lives are blighted with unkindness. Talents and creative gifts are squelched and stifled without encouragement and appreciation. Children can be made to feel as nothing, and go nowhere and learn little, and young people never fulfill their possibilities, except for encouragement and praise and appreciation. A person can drive, extort, intimidate, threaten, yet never realize the results that fairness and appreciation will produce. It isn’t the work of life that so much wears us away as the frictions and frustrations ⎯ not being noticed, not being recognized, not being appreciated, not being kindly considered. Men shrink with fear, withdraw from coldness; and with unkindness harden or break their hearts ⎯ but with kindness, encouragement, appreciation there can be peace and blessing in the home, satisfaction in service, and happiness in the heart. In this time of frustrations and too many tensions, let there be a renewal of appreciation for people, with loved ones coming closer, with families caring and encouraging, and with kindness, encouragement, appreciation for all that others do to lighten and lift the load of life. “The deepest hunger in human beings is the desire to be appreciated.”