Forgiving and Forgetting

We often hear the phrase, “Forgive and forget.” But how much is “forgetting” a part of “forgiving?” There is no one who does not sometime need to be forgiven, and there is no one who does not hope that his errors will be forgotten. But a verbally offered forgiveness comes much easier than an actually accomplished forgetfulness. And if every time we are miffed, we remind a man of all his past mistakes, we haven’t fully forgiven. People cannot live together in happiness until their differences are settled. And differences are not settled so long as they are bitterly remembered. Of course, we may say that we can make ourselves forgive, but we cannot make ourselves forget. But we do have some control over forgetfulness as well as over remembrance. We cannot will our minds to be a blank. But in some measure, at least, we can select our thoughts, and we can crowd out some thought with other thoughts. The offender has some obligations also, and if sincere forgiveness is expected, sincere repentance should be offered. People can’t move forward on a new footing if the old false footing is always there to stumble over. And we also have it on good authority that he who expects forgiveness must be forgiving: For “if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” If we see ever before us the picture of former offenses, then every present prospect will be marred with old marks. If we let the snarled past continually tangle the present, there isn’t much chance for unfettering the future. There is little hope of walking in new ways so long as stumbling blocks from the paths of the past are constantly strewn before us. If there are those who have past grievances and who want to walk together again, they will literally have to learn to forget as well as to say that they forgive. If they would find a new footing of faith and confidence, and understanding, they must learn to leave some things behind. It isn’t always easy to forgive, and it is still more difficult to forget, but no one has done either completely unless he has earnestly tried to do both.