Parents Must Be Parents…

Young people often ask: “Why do parents worry so much, and watch us so closely, and repeat so often the same precautions? We are able to take care of ourselves. Why don’t they leave us alone and let us learn in our own way?” In short, it seems that young people want to know why parents must act like parents!

The fact is that there is no acceptable way for parents to separate themselves from parental responsibility. They have no choice if they do their duty before the law, before society, and before God. They must counsel; they must caution; they must be concerned; they must pass on to their children the benefit of their own experience and of others. In other words, they must act like parents—or be derelict in their duty.

This brings to mind the poignant comment of a girl who heard her companions complaining of their parents—complaining of being counseled and cautioned, of being asked where they were going, who they were going with, and of being told what time they should be in—to all of which she said: “You should be grateful to have someone think enough of you to care where you’re going and when you will be back. My parents don’t seem to care.” This sobered those who had joined in the general complaining.

Parents may send their children to school or into other supervised activities, and be physically free of them for a few hours, or even for many months—but still the primary responsibility for children must rest upon parents. Some parents will do their work better than others, some with more understanding, some with less irritation, some seemingly with less obvious intrusion. Some teachings might seem tiresome; some at times might even seem unessential—but parents must play the part of parents, and children must recognize the part that parents must play, and be willing to listen and learn. So far as parents and children are concerned, there is no honorable way by which they can free themselves from their continuing obligations to one another.