The Lengthened Shadow

In the course of a lifetime, a man may himself get a little out of line, and because he was well taught, because of his solid background, because he knows the difference between right and wrong, he may feel sure that he can safely get back when he wants to.

And maybe he can. Maybe from his youth, from parents, from teachers, there was something basically built into him, that saves him from going too far. Maybe his character and training, his basic beliefs, are so solidly set that he can take a little latitude with some degree of safety. Maybe he can and maybe he can’t. But suppose we concede that it is possible for a well-seasoned person to take a little latitude, to get a little off course, and still get back when he wants to. But still what about his influence on others? What about his influence on his family and friends?

Emerson observed that “an institution is the lengthened shadow of one man.” Let’s generalize this somewhat, to say that a family, in a sense, is the lengthened shadow of parents and forebears; that a son, in a sense, is the lengthened shadow of a father⎯with emphasis on the word lengthened, because the next generation tends somewhat to exceed the example it has been set.

If a parent is a little critical, a child is likely to be more critical. If a parent shows a little disrespect, a child may show more disrespect.

The well-seasoned adult may know that he doesn’t altogether mean what he says, or didn’t intend it to be as bad as it sounds, but a child may take what he hears and sees and feels literally, and lengthen the shadow of the example that was set before him, and carry it much farther than his father.

True, it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes there are countering influences; sometimes reaction enters in to move in an opposite direction. But generally, if one generation leans a little out of line, the next generation may lean a long way out of line. And unfortunately the price people pay for a little so-called latitude may not be confined to them. Their children may pay a higher price. And when a person sees himself as being responsible for the defection of his children, then he has really paid a high price. (And that has been the remorse of many men.)

All of us parents, and all of us people, should remember the shadow we cast before us, the shadow of example, as it lengthens out in the lives of others also. (It is sobering but true that others, in some measure, are the lengthened shadow of what we show them.)