The Momentous Matter of Marriage

In the memorable play, Our Town, the philosophizing stage manager speaks these thoughtful lines: “I’m awfully interested in how big things . . . begin. You know how it is: you’re [young] and you make some decisions; then whissh! you’re seventy: you’ve been a lawyer for fifty years, and that white-haired lady at your side has eaten fifty thousand meals with you. How do such things begin?”

Beginnings are important in life, in many matters, and especially in such momentous matters as marriage. And young people approaching marriage should not let themselves be swept along without thinking things through.

First of all, two people who cast their lots forever with each other should surely share common ideals, common background, common interests and objectives.

Secondly, marriage brings out latent qualities of character, and those who approach this far-reaching decision should look for the qualities of character that can be counted on to keep a commitment, that can be faithful, not only in success, not only in pleasant pursuits, but even in adversity, even in sorrow and sickness, even in boredom, even in the endless doing of the daily round of duty. Some other essentials include respect, kindliness, an understanding heart, a gentle judgment; a willingness to work, to save, to share, and avoidance of the shallow assumption that the other partner always has it easier.

And marriage should surely include a sharing of basic beliefs; and a willingness to rear a family and unity as to how and what children will be. The seeds of confusion are already sown if two people approaching marriage haven’t sincerely and realistically settled such far-reaching considerations.

Watch the beginnings always⎯and don’t let some things enter in: Keep out the sarcasm and unkind criticism. Keep out indifference, selfishness, carelessness in appearance, carelessness in conduct, and every act of inconsideration. Let kindly speech and gentle manners, and faith and confidence and encouragement, and sincere acts and utterances of appreciation keep love alive.

Remember that in marriage you are committed to one another (or should be) always and forever, in this most important relationship in life: Watch the symptoms. Watch beginnings. Keep the sweetness in it. Meet the problems as they come, and make of marriage the hallowed and lasting relationship that the Lord God meant it to be when He Himself said, “. . . It is not good that man should be alone . . .”