Some Requirements of Marriage

Love, as often indicated, is not likely to live unless it is sustained by solid substance, by some essential qualities of character, qualities that include courage to face facts, to meet problems, to make and keep commitments; to wait, to serve, to sacrifice, to prepare and provide for the future.

The list of qualities includes courtesy and consideration, along with respect and a certain dignity; also temperance and moderation that has the judgment not to overdo anything; patience with people with children, our own and others, and with each other and with circumstances and situations even patience with ourselves; thoughtfulness, and both faith and faithfulness, alike in love and in loyalty; reasonableness and gentleness. Said one who was wise: “There is nothing so strong as gentleness, and there is nothing so gentle as real strength.”

Marriage requires the giving and keeping of confidences, the sharing of thoughts and feelings, unfailing respect and understanding, and a frank and gentle communication.

Marriage, along with life, requires humility. We all need it (since we all make mistakes): the humility to repent, the humility to forgive.

And marriage requires both flexibility and firmness flexibility to give and take, and the firmness not to compromise principles, the firmness to meet and keep obligations, firmness in doing one’s duty.

Marriage requires a wise and moderate sense of humor without which the ways of life can be heart-breakingly abrasive. And certainly it calls for common convictions, so that both partners will be pulling one way not pulling apart.

Marriage requires all these and much more, and should not be rushed into too early, or lightly.

We would plead with young people to take counsel, to be thoughtful and farseeing, prayerful and patient, and not rush into a decision of such incalculable concern, of such everlasting consequence. Any decision as to whom and when to marry requires a long and serious look.