The Unity and Patience of Parents
June 23, 1968
Thoughts often turn to home, to memories, to mothers; fathers, families, and the meaning of it all, all beginning with a marriage that two people madeâŻand, having made it, must see that home becomes the best that it can be. And this requires patience, unity, character, common sense.
Support is also an indispensable element of a happy home, not only financial support but the support parents should give each other in ideals and objectives, to make it easier to teach their children. “Never in all my boyhood,” said Dr. Fosdick, “did [my mother and father] fail to stand together on any question which affected their children. We never could play one off against the other, or find anywhere a rift between them.” It is unwise, unfair for any child to be pulled apart by parents. A united purpose between parents is one of the essentials, so that children may not play one opinion against another, and do as they please between the two.
Patience is another element of a happy home. It isn’t easy to have the patience of a parent: the patience to accept a child’s helping but unskilled hands; the patience quietly to consider questions, even if asked over and over again; the patience to understand that perfection isn’t now possible, that things will be broken, that mistakes sometimes will be made; the patience of parents who know that there are times to listen and times to talk, and who somehow find the time it takes; parents who are approachable and compatible, so that childhood is not exposed to constant quarreling and criticism, but to encouragement and companionship.
Memories of a happy home would go a long, long way toward solving problems that laws and later discipline don’t always do. And unity of parents in principle and purpose is most important, so that children will never have to make a cruel, confusing choice between two parents.